Fourteen, fifteen years old, and convinced I would be the next KurtCobain. I read through them all, and they were awful. Wonderfully,wonderfully awful... in their naive beauty, their clich?s andmisspellings and cynical posturing, there was an energy, a hope, and alust for life that I found horrifying to realise I had lost. No- notlost- that I had ever had. I place the noose over my neck and smile.I hear the clocks chime midnight: it's my thirtieth birthday. I stepforward into the unknown, and. Give me the list.Chaya: come to my home in half an hour, and I will prepare it by then.I went to Chaya’s home, and she handed me the list. I went to the market and bought all the stuff and reached her home. Chaya opened the door, and she was now wearing a top and long skirt. Her hairs were wet, and it looked she recently has taken a shower.We then started to do the decorations, and it took almost a couple of hours for it. After finishing it, Chaya asked me to be comfortable, and she will. She walks around him and slowly pulls his shirt off his shoulders, letting her hands softly touch his back. He stops her and tells her to kneel in front of him; he reminds her that she is not to touch him. He tells her that the boundaries are there for a reason and she has not learned to obey them, so he will have to teach her. He tells her to turn towards the bed, and he walks up behind her and grabs her by the hair and firmly but gently pulls her head back. She has her eyes closed knowing. "You know only loose women dress like that," Maggie said in a snide mocking tone. She seemed bitter and I can't imagine why. It seemed that her party was a complete success. Perhaps she didn't see that she needed me anymore or maybe all these years I made her feel small because I was so notably successful and had never suffered the mediocrity that plagued the first parts of her career.I looked at myself, "you are talking about the shoes." Mostly, but the slit in your dress, it shows your knee..
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