M-am indepartat putin de trupul lui doar cand a intrat Sandu. Observase, si parea un pic stanjenit. Am mai glumit, am mai baut, ma uitam la Gusti cu s...bintelesuri ascunse, iar el imi raspundea, tot din priviri. Sandu a inteles jocul meu, abea cand l-am invitat pe Gusti in bucatarie, sa ma ajute sa fac cafeaua. M-a urmat, incurajat de indemnul sotul meu: du-te, ca nu te manaca. Acolo, tot eu am avut initiativa, lipindu-ma de el si sarutandu-l cu patima. Mi-a raspuns, ma saruta, salbatic, pe gat,. I was still marginally sensible and I feared drowning in him. Never before had I felt such a connection, such an intuitive, intimate way of being known. And a piece of me was afraid. It was not a fear of losing Peter, it was a fear of finding myself. He spoke to a dark place in me that I knew existed but felt I was keeping successfully under control. Besides the immediacy and the unusualness of our connection there was no evidence for this except what was happening to me. I seemed to be opening. Then Aunt Patti called from Kirkland and invited all of us up. My mom wanted to go because she hadn't seen her sister since her surgery. She talked to Tami's mom, and they decided that we were old enough and trustworthy enough to stay by ourselves. Besides, there was nothing that we could do overnight that we couldn't have been doing during the day. And both women were smart enough to suspect that we had.Then Robbie had decided to spend the night with Tami after the dance, and her dad had. Transitions being neurological in nature can also trigger panic attacks like PTSD. For me, the panic attacks are a problem. Panic attacks trigger the fight or flight response. When I’m afraid of something I kill it. If it’s dead it can’t hurt me. So during a panic attack anything I interpret as aggressive is a direct and immediate threat to my survival. I am a trained fighter. I never had these attacks before my illness.One day my wife raised her voice to me in an angry tone when my back was.
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