"I guess I could do that Sonja, except that you are what they want. You, Helena and Coleen are the only things of value to them I have with me."Sonja ...ave me a startled look as the implication of what I said sunk in. Yet she still kept her composure. "Oh," she gasped, "so what do we do now?"I told her to keep low and behind the wagon wheels as much as possible, and hope that I could make the proposition too costly for the Indians. "And prayer would not hurt," I added. She nodded and pulled out. I told him that I really did want a child, but my husband had been unable to give me one. I told Jim that I deeply, truly cared for him, to the point where I felt like I was falling in love, and one thing I truly desired was a baby.Jim smiled widely, telling me that while he had always had a crush on me, his feelings had intensified quite a bit lately, to the point where he would love to give me that gift.After speaking with a pharmacist, I decided to go off the pill for him, and it was only a. *******It was funny how long it seems between the sign-off and when the stage director says 'OK, we're off." It is actually only about two seconds' time but it is amazing what you can think about in that short span. I have no idea why but that evening my thoughts flashed back to the night I was gang-****d. It was a memory that often came to me and although I should have been traumatised by the experience it was something that I secretly had found pleasurable and now, dare I say, craved.For. I forgot that in my drunken stupor. I am not drunk right now. I know that it is best for me for walk off without hurting you anymore. Just remember — I do love you. Never doubt that.’ She said in a sad-sad voice, ‘I guess when we fall in love or when we become too close to someone we grant them the power to hurt us. I am really sorry that I misused the power. I will give you one advice before I go. If you are not ready to be hurt a little by some stupid act of someone you love — don’t love..
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