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And if I got to close then The human house would move me far away from her so I just kept Waiting to see if she'd turn over or sit up. She did turn ov...r on to her back and suddenly I was not the only one in a thong. She was too and given she wasn't a guy but she was in a thong regardless. I heard the unmistakable sound of a cell phone ringing and checked to se if it were mine. I looked in my beach bag and it wasn't mine. I turned and looked down the beach to see several other beach goers check. I felt so at ease with her, I told her about Jane, and how badly I had reacted after her death, and how I had decided six months or so ago, that I must get on with my life. She told me about her divorce and how hard it was to raise a child on her own. We laughed about the way friends and families try to match you up with other single people, and most of them you just couldn’t bare to spend time alone with. We discussed whether we would ever remarry, a definite maybe from me, and a definite. “The only thing you care about is oppressing women! The rest of the kingdom can go to hell for all you care!”“Your majesty,” you explain carefully. “Our enemies gather at our borders. Ever since you, in all your ‘wisdom’ decreed that fifty percent of our army and workforce must be female, our economy has grown weaker and our military discipline lax. The nearby kingdom arms itself for war. They intend to invade us. I beg you, for the sake of the kingdom, let me martial our forces to defend our. Dick-Dick was made interim head of the Princess Asshole Hospice – can you imagine a greater contrast from Hildegard? I think the place is pretty chill now. He fired that nurse whatever-her-name-was and replaced her with Cat from Farts. And he’s been making those three dick-brained fucker studs attend courses at the RAF – for “re-education”. He’s even – get this – invited your friend Ambrose to do “chaplaincy” work at the hospice – whatever the fuck that means. I guess it means they won’t be.
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