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I could live with what was already planned and it would satisfy me ... always assuming Amber and her family left me alone from now on. The love I felt...for her would never die; it couldn't. True love was forever and some small part of me would grieve forever for what might have been ... but it was time to move on. It was just time; time to try to let the anger go.I allowed my eyes to open feeling oddly cleansed. I felt as if a burden had lifted from me. The rage wasn't completely gone and I. My hair was teased a bit and I had on several coats of mascara and red lipstick and looked a little trampy that day, just for Ricky. And he noticed. When we got to my house I invited him in and to my delight he accepted my invitation! We had a cold beer or two and he pulled out a joint that we passed between us and we had a nice long talk. He was curious about my orientation so I explained I was transgendered and he seemed pretty cool about it all and he asked a lot of questions. Ricky. She said she would think about it. Two days later I got an email saying she can't stop thinking about blowing him with my watching, but she wanted me to watch from a closet in the room. I said anything for you Alice. I arrived with him still in the bath and Alice led me to the downstairs bedroom and into a closet that had the little wood slats with the opening between them, they were somewhat adjustable and I pushed two of them up so I could see well. Alice pushed him back into the bedroom with. We shut off all the lights before we go downstairs to sit on the dock. Normally, my family and one of the neighbors compete every year, to see how many fireworks we can sneak into the state. But not this year, so we have to be content with just the neighbor's display.We bring the cooler down to our dock and sit on the chairs, we had placed there, to look out over the water. The neighbors start their show, and we ooh and awe at the pretty colors. You look at me and ask, "How about a swim, Jodi?".
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