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I stopped at a pay phone before arriving. I got Lana and asked her to leave the front door unlocked and everyone in the kitchen. I wanted to surpris... them. She said okay, and I hung up. I drove over and slipped in the door, then yelled out to them and asked if they were ready. Then I wrapped one leg around the door jamb and made my grand, "showgirl" entrance. Tim went to the window and looked out. He probably gave the neighbors a laugh in his pirate costume. I asked him what he was doing. BACK to my story!I was out on a call with Jay, who happens to be my uncle, and we were moving a family of 3 with a dog out of an apartment and into a towne house after the woman divorced her husband and took him for everything he had! (I hate the justice system!) The mother and her two rug rats, thirteen (male) and nineteen (female) were bringing all of the little boxes to the door when Jay and I pulled up. We had a whole lot of work on our hands, but we were determined to get it done in one. "Our house is good, but we need more bathrooms. Showers would be nice, and they use less water. What do you think of the idea of building a bigger home that will be easier to heat and have some of the nice things that will make the home more comfortable."Dad said, "I don't know about any of that. Everything works pretty good to me." Now, all of you would like to get clean, but you have to wait. If you had a small bath off your bedroom, you wouldn't scare anybody at night." Dad chuckled at that.. I was really feeling the effects of three cocktails on an empty stomach but my successive failed attempts to identify our dates and the subsequent discomfort of being judged for being something I’m not, demanded another cocktail to bolster my courage. As I stood at the bar, reflecting on my last two conversations, I could see how someone could misunderstand me and think I was soliciting but I shook off the thought. The bartender refused to serve me. Was I really that drunk? Then I felt a large.
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