When you get to that point, you're in big trouble. Burned out. Suicidal. Depressed. That's how cops die or slide into a bottle. That's where I was unt...l one of those chance intersections of lives pulled me out; one of those pitches life throws at you that you can decide to turn away from, or allow it to change you forever.A loss of that perspective, a loss of my ability to remember the magic in life and the accumulated weight of too many arrows and too much caring about them had led me to that. As I climbed in Shannon turned on some music, nice quiet acoustic guitar and turned on the jets. She said she'd be right back and went in the house, now I was a bit nervous, naked outside at a stranger's house, then I saw her coming back out and felt better, she was carrying two plastic glasses and said it was a cooler, she didn't like to get drunk and she figured less alcohol would be good, I totally agreed. She put the drinks in holders built into the top of the tub and she got in and sat. The moment our lips touched slightly i felt her body tremble. We began to kiss slowly and passionately. I loved the feeling of her soft lips against mine. My hands began to caress her back and sides. She felt so powerless and fragile. I decided to take it gentle at first. On the phone and in the sauna seemed so different from now. I kiss her neck and chest. My hand wanders down her back and rests softly on her ass. She grabs my hand presses it firmly against her ass. Telling me to take it. "Smoking again?" I asked. Pam had already finished her first glass of wine and was casting her eyes about in search of our waiter. "Haven't seen that since you-know-who." I added and saw it hit a nerve with that one."No, it's not like that at all" Pam replied, "it's just... just...oh...damn." Out with it honey. You obviously didn't call me to drink wine and smoke." I said and leaned forward."Well" she stammered, "it's Phil, I think...well, I found...he's a transvestite or at least interested in.
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