I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after...the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.I was such an ugly kid! When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.I could. I turned the hemline up two full inches, then paused, and added a third inch. I was pretty sure that was too much, but thought I’d pin it and see.Once I’d pinned it up, I carefully put it on again, and, once again, held the neckline closed. The bottom hem was now barely a couple of inches below my pubis, way above my knees, and I dithered about it being too high and too revealing.Then I said to hell with it. I promised Sir I would look like a slut, so I would.Since I didn’t have a sewing. I almost married a girl there but when she called off the wedding I left town and she married someone else. I was devastated and I never did get married. At thirty years old I was pretty sure that it wouldn’t happen any time soon. All I could find were other guy’s rejects. Any girl my age has been married and divorced, usually with kids. I was not sure that I needed the extra baggage at that point in my life.At the funeral I saw my old girlfriend. She was there with her mother, her much younger. I licked him first. I wanted the taste of his piss in my mouth and I also wanted to get down to the base and suck on his hair. I would have liked to lick his asshole, too, but I couldn’t get near it. Men taste so good, I can never get enough of it. Much as I love fucking, it’s sucking that I crave the most. When I finally enclosed my mouth around the head of his cock, he seemed to know exactly how I liked it. He didn’t allow me to give him just a nice up and down suck–he wanted to fuck my.
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