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But the calm wouldn’t come, and peace would just linger for short moments before lifting off and flying away. I lifted my hands out of the water and...looked at the pale, clean, blank surface of them. I so wished there was a way to become clean like that, on the inside, as well as on the outside. A way to be free from all the memories, all of the nightmares, all of the worries and anxieties. Almost choking from the sadness that kept filling those deep holes inside of me, I stood up and started. Then I accused him of not putting much effort into keeping me as happy as he should. Unfortunately he didn't seem to grasp what I was doing. He went right back into his old behavior of ignoring me and doing whatever else he felt like doing, which in this case was channel surfing on the TV. I had to believe that tuning me out could have become a defensive reflex for him, but I just had to make sure that I had his help in keeping me from backsliding, because it had been all too easy to slip back. Main: kya?Priya: yr usdin clg buses nhi jayegi or main kaise ja paugi vo sirf hamare dipartment ki party thi isliye buses nhi jani thi.Main: to kya hua tum mere saath meri bike pr chle jana thodi der baad vo maan gye.Priya: ha ye theek hai main tumare sath chli jaugi or aajaugi.Main: ok g. dance ki prectice kr lo.Priya: ok tum mere bahut acche fnd ho or mera kitna khyaal rakhte ho. thanx dear.Main: your welcome Priya main bahut khush tha ki priya mere saath jayegi fir clg main priya se main. You and only two others - Mike and Josh." That's too small to even be called a party, I said, half jokingly."Timmy looked at me again, this time with a smile on his face. "I'm sure you remember what you and I did last summer."I nodded yes."Well, I did the same things with Mike and Josh. Last summer. And since we all have this one thing in common, I thought we should all get together and do those things with each other."I felt a twinge of jealousy. Timmy did it with two other guys and didn't.
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