He mows the lawn and blows the leaves and cleans the pool and loves every minute. And then there is Susie. At 8 years old she is the little princess o... the family. She is still in the super girly phase with a pink room full of stuffed animals and Barbie dolls. She wants to be Barbie when she grows up. I haven’t had many dates since Susan was killed. The murder really messed with my mind and I found it difficult to commit again. The thought of going through a loss again was unimaginable. Mostly. Page 8:?? I am a good girl my voice will be subdued at all times.page 9:?? I am a good girl and will practice my curtsy.page 10:?? I am a good girl and will obeypage 11: I am a good girl,Don stopped me saying, "Go into the kitchen and fill a baggie withice."I stopped writing and put the notebook on the coffee table scurrying tothe kitchen and remembering when I got there I had not curtsied.Fortunately it didn't take me long to accomplish the task since thebaggie box was on the table and the ice. My past and my likely future wereso drummed into me my recital would have been flawless.I sill knew what to say. I just couldn't commit to it quite like Iwould have when I believed in it 100%.I felt fidgety and clammy and generally uncomfortable.I had to tell myself, were Dr Black simply Dr Black, I could fool him.But Mr Black would know. He would sense my lies and uncloak me.That would mean though, If I did escape unscathed, wasn't I simplyAlexandra Ward then? Dr Black being a normal human,. It was a momentous decision I had made and I was proud of myself. I am the New Woman I told myself over and over. No matter what he says, I will have a life of my own. I decided to tell my brother and my sister in the morning."Right on," said my brother, "any way I can help, Sis. I will see you after work tonight with as much cash as you want."My sister was ecstatic. "It is time you come to your senses. Buy your dress, then buy some red nail polish for your nails and your toes, have your hair.
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